Finding your way to the Thrive State

Thrive is one of those words that, while it sounds good on the surface, can be a little squishy when you start to poke at what people actually mean by it.

Since it’s one of the key ideas in the model for navigating the ebbs and flows of life we’ve been exploring the last couple days, I want to start by unsquishifying it. So let’s talk specifically about what I mean by thrive in the context of the Threat-Thrive Continuum.

The Thrive State as we’ll explore it here has five main qualities:

• Energy: Feeling energized, both physically and mentally.
• Engagement: Feeling engaged by your life’s efforts and activity.
• Open channel: A high degree of access to your inner resources and abilities.
• Expansiveness: A wide sphere of awareness and perception.
• Connection: The fundamental human need for connection, relationship, and belonging.

While the Threat State has its origins in one specific system in the brain and body (the threat response), the Thrive State taps into multiple systems and responses, all of which unfold in three broad interrelated areas:

• Neurological (your brain)
• Physiological (your body)
• Psychological (your mind)

Roots of the Thrive State

Some of the Thrive State experience has its origins in “addition by subtraction.” It comes from the absence of threat response. Put simply, when your brain doesn’t feel like it needs to channel resources into surviving a threat, more resources are available for other brain and body processes.

Other aspects of your Thrive State are more active in origin. For example, cultivating a greater feeling of engagement by pursuing activities that have a high degree of personal meaning. Or feeling more energized because you exercise regularly and eat a healthy diet.

Thrive State benefits

The Thrive State is an energized and expansive state. You feel more engaged. You experience more positive emotion. You have more access to parts of your brain that help you problem solve and be creative. You’re better able to communicate. You see the big picture more readily, and you’re more inclined towards seeing others as “we” rather than “us and them.” In short, the Thrive State is where the best of what you have to offer can emerge.

It’s not about “improving yourself.” Those resources and abilities are always there. It’s about cultivating a more open channel for them to come through.

An ongoing process

I should emphasize that your Thrive State is more of an ongoing process than a goal to achieve. There is no permanent state of thriving you can reach. It’s a fluid, ongoing experience you feed and nourish and encourage over time. Sometimes you will feel locked on target, other times you’ll feel like you’ve been tossed pellmell down the Slip’n Slide. Part of the process of thriving is learning how to pick yourself up and find your way back.

Try this: Rather than being a static state, thriving is the outcome of a continuous stream of actions and choices. You can guide those actions and choices in the direction of thriving with two recurring questions:

• How can I support my Thrive State?
• How am I blocking my Thrive State?

Wherever you currently find yourself on the Threat/Thrive Continuum – even if you feel like you’re permanently camped out in the Threat State – you can still plant the seeds for thriving.

At the most fundamental level, you can make changes to what I think of as the basics for well-being – diet, exercise, sleep, and hydration.

I often say that if I had just five minutes to share something that would be guaranteed change someone’s life for the better, as much as I love all the other ideas and approaches I talk about, those four things are where I would start. They all have a massive effect on both how we experience our lives and our ability to access our inner resources.

Rate yourself on each of those four areas and, for any area that has an opportunity for improvement, ask, “What one small thing can I do to move this in a more thrive-supporting direction?” Make it realistic and doable.

Then do it.